She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
