Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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