Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I look better un-naked...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
