Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
