her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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