the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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