The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
