Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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