Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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