The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
