thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
