One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize