Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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