Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
