What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
