Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
