all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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