my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
