Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
