the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
