NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
