the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
