we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
