he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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