Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this boner is exhausting
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
