I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
His nipple licking is glorious
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