Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
