the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
