so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
