as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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