If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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