Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
