oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
