I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
