The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
