No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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