Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
