My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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