He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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