are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
