How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
