The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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