This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
