so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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