I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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