You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
