Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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