VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
