This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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