we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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