My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
