Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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