we made out on top of his cat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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