My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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