I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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