Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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